About a Girl
by alittlenutjob
Summary: Multi-chapter for Jeremy Reed. Yeah I'm gonna try to give him something to do. As always I own nothing but the laptop.
1. It's Oh So Quiet

Jeremy couldn't remember when the convention became that the whole office met for breakfast on Monday mornings, but he'd come to appreciate, possibly even enjoy, the ritual. He'd have preferred to eat alone, but come 8:15 he would be pulled into the break room by Betsy or Mindy, or whoever, to listen to the inane chatter than would have ordinarily filled the bull pen as he ate at his desk.

As the de facto boss he thought it was good practice to participate. He liked to be considered approachable, and he found it useful to keep his ear to the ground about happenings amongst the staff. He alone suspected that Betsy was thinking of moving home. And he'd known long before it became official that Tamra and Morgan were seeing each other on the sly. Not that anyone ever asked him. He wouldn't have engaged anyway. Gossip isn't good for morale.

Once again the first person in the office, he decided against shutting his office door as he started sorting messages compiled over the weekend and updating his calendar for the week. He allowed himself to get a little wrapped up in his Monday morning routine, but he noticed when 8:15 passed without anyone trying to drag him away from the desk. According to his calendar Betsy had a vacation day, and he suspected she was taking job interviews back home. Peter was never on-time, let alone early, and God alone knows what Tamra and Morgan were up to this morning. He watched the hands on his watch spun past 8:20, then 8:30 and still no one came to his door.

Curiosity piqued, he smoothed his trousers and re-buttoned his jacket as he pushed away from his desk and stood, then made his way to the break room. He found Danny and Mindy, heads together, bowed over a newspaper speaking in low voices. He cleared his throat politely.

"Hey, Jeremy!" Mindy's high voice lifted into the air with a touch of surprise. "Danny and I were just talking about how stupid he is."

"Hey!" Danny's voice was gruff, offended, but only a fool would look at him and see anything but the smile that played around his lips, and the soft way his eyes searched on Mindy's face, darting to her lips and back to her eyes.

"It WAS stupid, Danny." Mindy returned Danny's little smile and continued brightly, "How in the hell did you think Catfishing me was going to work?"

"It was a bit foolish, Danny." Jeremy interjected casually. Now that the waivers were signed he was a little less nervous about the turn this had taken, but he could not for the life of him understand how Danny thought lying to the woman he supposedly loved was a winning idea.

"I was doing 'You've Got Mail'," Danny retorted indignantly. "I did the thing from your favorite movie, and you act like I was purposefully trying to deceive you!"

Jeremy's lips twitched. "You kind of were, mate."

Mindy nodded in agreement. "Danny, 'You've Got Mail' is romantic because they were two people, completely unalike, who learned how to be friends when Joe got over his ridiculous prejudice about Kathleen's outer optimism and responded to the inner her."

"Which is what I was doing! I was trying to get you to see the inner me!"

"So you're Kathleen?" Mindy asked skeptically.

"No! I'm Joe. I knew I was wooing you, and you didn't know."

Jeremy opened the refrigerator and grabbed a pot of yogurt. "You could have just told her, Danny. You could have just said 'Mindy, I love you.' It would have saved a great deal of drama and quite a bit of money to the solicitors."

"Hey, they're called lawyers in this country."

Jeremy scowled at Danny's tired reply. "I'm just saying. Why not be straight with her?"

"I tried! I told her I loved her. She said she didn't believe me." Something like sorrow clouded Danny's eyes, making Jeremy briefly regret piling on.

"Danny," Mindy said softly, "You told me you loved me after you'd already done the Andy thing. You didn't say it until you thought you'd lost me. Why'd you wait?"

"I don't know," Danny replied honestly.

Feeling this was time to duck out before he had to witness an intimate moment between them, Jeremy moved as quietly as possible toward the door. The silence between them was too thick, too pregnant though, and as he always did, Jeremy made the mistake of trying to cut the tension with humor. "Please don't break up now, I'm out of waivers for you to sign."

Mindy turned to Jeremy, capturing his gaze fully, returning it solemnly. "You don't need to worry about that."

Jeremy's stomach clenched uncomfortably.

It had been a long time since Mindy had looked him in the eye like that. He remembered the last time, once upon a time when she'd told him that she was having real feelings for him and that they had to either stop sleeping together or start doing other things together. He'd broken it off immediately, knowing that he wasn't ready for a commitment, and that even if he didn't love her he respected her enough to let her go and try to find someone who would. Which apparently she had.

Danny had gone about it the wrong way, and surely he knew that. Jeremy couldn't say for sure that he knew what it was like to really love someone, but when Mindy met his eyes he felt sure that a woman who can look you in the eye like that, speak honestly to you like that, and open herself up for you like that, surely deserves honesty in return.

Mindy had been hurt back then when he was honest with her and let her go, but she'd deserved no less. He felt his fist clench involuntarily at the thought of Danny's deception, no matter how well-intentioned his behaviors had been. Danny had a lot to answer for and Jeremy hoped that Mindy demanded it from him.

Jeremy nodded at her and turned away. As he walked away he heard Danny's voice, soft and low, filter through the door. "Mindy, I love you."

The fleeting irrational thought that he deserved her more than Danny did forced Jeremy to stumble mid-step. Jeremy shook his head to clear away the nonsense, and stepped into his office. And slammed the damn door.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Title and chapters are from music that would more or less have featured in the life of a young Jeremy Reed. Forcing myself to start this now so I have to finish the story, so all apologies for random mistakes.


	2. This Charming Man

The lovely occupational therapist sitting across the table from him was an engaging conversationalist, attractive in the way that would always garner a second look (although maybe not a double take), and bright enough to know that Jeremy was just not interested. She leaned toward him with a serious expression. "Jeremy, do you have somewhere else you'd rather be?"

"What? Of course not." His lips curled into that easy, charming smile he so often used to turn around a conversation, and instantly he knew she was right. The smile was reflex, not interest. Worse still, he knew she could see it, too.

"You're not really here, though," she observed.

"I assure you I am completely captivated. Please go on. You were saying about your colleague who spent a summer in Cambridge?"

"My brother. My brother studied at Oxford."

If Jeremy were an easy blusher, now would be the time. "I'm terribly sorry. It has been an incredibly long day and you deserve my full attention. I'm completely mortified, I really am."

His date waved away the apology. "It's fine. You've had a bit of a far away look since you arrived. How about we cut dinner short?"

"I'm at your disposal. There's no excuse for my behavior, and if you'd like to leave I will completely understand. I will of course pick up the bill. Would you like me to call a cab for you?"

"No need, really." She leaned closer and covered his hand again with her own. "Listen, long day or not, I find you very attractive. I live only 3 blocks away and I don't have work tomorrow morning. What do you say?"

Jeremy was genuinely taken by surprise. "You're inviting me to yours?"

"I am." She smiled seductively. He had been wrong about that double take thing. What an attractive woman.

"I... That is incredibly flattering, and I'd like to say yes, but I don't think I should."

"Why not?"

"I...uh. I..." Jeremy found himself flustered and at a loss to explain why he just didn't really think sleeping with this beautiful woman was wise. He didn't know why it was wrong, but he knew it was wrong, and for the first time since he was a teenager that was enough to make him turn her down.

"Is it another woman? Is this a rebound thing? Because I don't mind," she stated matter-of-factly.

"You don't?"

"We're two consenting adults. We can enjoy some time together without any expectation that it's going anywhere."

Why wasn't this easy? This was literally the perfect date, and he was the one sending it pear-shaped. "I want to, but I can't."

She shrugged casually. "Alright. Your loss."

Jeremy sighed. "I have no doubt that is true."

As he watched his date walk away, Jeremy signaled to the waiter that he required the bill, and began to rifle through his pockets for his bank card, coming up empty handed. "Oh bollocks."

. . .

"So I take it this wasn't a love connection?" Mindy slipped into the chair immediately to his left and reached across him to pick up the leather wallet containing the dining bill and scanned it briefly before slotting her card into it.

"I beg your pardon?"

A well-worn Columbia tee shirt peeked out from the little gap her coat made when she sat. Pink sneakers and some sort of soft yoga pants completed the ensemble. The waiter's face was carefully blank as he took the bill, but the quick once over he gave Mindy said it all. Jeremy gave him a very cool look as Mindy snatched a breadroll from the table and began to methodically pull it apart. "Jeremy if it had gone well she'd have paid, or at least be sitting with you right now."

"Oh, that. She'd actually already left before the bill came." Jeremy knew he should probably be at least a bit embarrassed, but instead he was just grateful to see her. And annoyed with the waiter.

"Yikes, that bad?"

"Actually, not at all. She's a very smart and engaging woman. But as you say, I don't think it was a 'love connection.'"

Mindy signed the receipt and shoved her copy along with her card into her coat pocket. "Come on. I'll buy you ice cream."

"Mindy, you know I don't eat ice cream."

"Okay then, I'll have two scoops." She rammed him playfully with her shoulder. "Bad dates and ice cream go together like good dates and ice cream."

"What?"

"Everything goes with ice cream." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "You know what I mean?"

"Yes, yes. I get it. Please don't elaborate. I need to still be able to look Danny in the eye tomorrow."

As they stepped out the front door Mindy whispered conspiratorially, "That waiter didn't think much of me. Looked me up and down like I was a downgrade from your previous date."

"Not at all."

"Jeremy, I saw his face. Please tell me you won't bring anyone back to this place. Not everyone can be as secure as me. Even I am not usually as secure as me."

"Yeah, why aren't you angry? I feel like there's a gap in my evening where you should be shouting the words 'How dare you' and 'woman of color' as we get ejected from yet another eatery in Manhattan."

"You make me sound like a drama queen."

Jeremy just raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, I'm a little dramatic. But you say that like it happens all the time."

"Mindy, it happened to us on no less than three occasions."

"When?" Mindy's neck craned as she checked for traffic before darting across the street towards a gelato stand.

Jeremy began ticking off his fingers. "Well, there's the pizza truck you used to frequent when we started our residency, the sandwich shop that put hot sauce on your chicken sandwich, which, I might add, was a fiesta chicken sandwich and was SUPPOSED to be spicy. Then there was the coffee shop across from the office..."

"Hold on, hold on. I don't think you can say we were 'ejected' from a food truck. We're simply banned. And yes, my chicken sandwich was supposed to be spicy, but I resent the way the guy said 'A spicy dish for a spicy dish' when he handed it to me. That was racist."

"Probably racist," Jeremy conceded.

"And the coffee shop was not all my fault. If you remember we were kicked out together. Because we caused a scene...together." Mindy nodded slowly as though Jeremy really needed a prompt to remember how they were caught.

"Okay, that was partially my fault. But you did shout 'how dare you' and we were definitely ejected that time." Jeremy stifled a smile as he recalled the barista's horrified face when they walked out of the toilets. They had attempted to be quiet, but clearly it hadn't worked because the whole room turned toward them as they shuffled out, untucked, hair ruffled. He'd tripped a little on an untied shoelace and looked up to catch Mindy's eye. She started giggling, which set him off and the two of them howled with laughter for a good 5 minutes as they were shoved onto the street.

Mindy's face split with a wide smile, but this time Jeremy started chuckling first. Her laughter overtook his quickly, her whole body shaking as they approached the confused looking kid at the stand. This raucous, gasping, tear-stained laughter was so inelegant, but so intoxicating. He just felt good, like he hadn't really laughed in a long, long time. Too long. He didn't even protest as she ordered a scoop for him.

Taking the proffered frozen treat, Jeremy wiped his eyes. Hers shone as she turned that smile on him again, making his stomach flutter uncomfortably. Feeling suddenly quite sober, he looked away and focused instead on his dessert. "Thanks for that. I don't think I've laughed like that in ages. And thank you for coming to my rescue."

"No problem. You will inevitably have to come to my rescue some day anyway."

He smiled at her. "It would be my great pleasure."

Mindy giggled. "Jeremy, you flirt! Good thing I know you don't mean anything by it. You're dangerous with that dimple and the eyes and everything."

"Hey, I'm more than my looks. We laughed a lot when we were together, didn't we?"

"We weren't together-together. You didn't really let me get to know more than your looks." Mindy's face was solemn, thoughtful. "But I know you now. And yes, you are more than your looks."

Jeremy frowned at his gelato and dropped it in a bin as they passed it on the street.

"Hey, I would have eaten that!" Mindy protested. Gazing at him thoughtfully she reached for his hand and squeezed it. "I meant what I said, Jeremy. You're more than your looks."

"Am I though? I have certainly gotten more popular since I slimmed down again. Even the natural aphrodisiac that is my accent didn't seem to conquer how repellent I clearly was when I was heavy."

"Did it occur to you that maybe your body wasn't the only thing that changed? That maybe you were putting out a vibe that you didn't WANT to be touched?"

"Perhaps."

"Not perhaps. Definitely." She pulled on his hand to make him stop walking. "I'll tell you a secret. I'm not perfect."

"Yes. I know. You asked me the other day if Hillary Clinton was still a Senator. One time when you called me from Boston you asked me 'What time is it in New York?' I've seen you use Red Bull to brush your teeth. Admittedly we were both pissed and I may have actually talked you into it."

"You did! And I'm trying to say something helpful, so stop cataloging my flaws and reminding me that I'm susceptible to stupid suggestions when I'm drunk. Listen to me. I get that all this," she gestured at her body, "does not have universal appeal, but I know in my heart that I have earned the right to love it, just by living in it. And that someone else will love it, too. So I act accordingly."

"So I've noticed." Jeremy gave her a wry smile.

"And guess what? Someone does love it. More than one someone's loved me. Because I loved me first." Mindy nodded firmly. "There are many loveable things about you, Jeremy. You're funny, you're smart, you take responsibility for things, and your charm is not superficial. You're genuinely kind and thoughtful. You have a great body, but your body was just as worthy when you weren't this fit. To paraphrase someone I know 'You're a man, look like a man.' Eat ice cream now and again, laugh a lot, and let women know the real you. You're great."

Jeremy looked down to where Mindy was still holding his hand and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"You were wrong though, Mindy." His stomach felt like the hard knot in his throat. This evening had begun with a lukewarm date with a woman who didn't know him and would never get to know him, but here he stood holding the hand of a woman he didn't think knew him, and she not only knew him but liked him. It was revelatory, and exciting and absolutely outside of his experience. And impossible. He pulled his hand away and smiled, hoping it wasn't as hollow as he felt. "You are perfect."

Mindy grinned and pushed his arm playfully. "Flirt!"


	3. Caught by the Fuzz

"Peter! Did I or did I not tell you last night to do something about your office!" Jeremy had spent what was meant to be his quiet office hours talking Doris out of quitting and making promises about never having to clean paint or dog urine out of the carpets again. He was already exhausted before the work day had even begun.

Yawning, Peter grabbed a mug from the cabinet. "Relax Jer-bear. I came in early I'll get the paint wiped off before my first patient even checks in."

"You were told to take care of it last night before you left." As he had stood there for the past 20 minutes waiting in the kitchen for Peter to arrive, Jeremy had gotten steadily angrier and less tolerant of the level of unprofessional behaviour coming from everyone at this moment.

"Okay, you're not my dad, and besides I had a hot date. I had to cut out right after the paintball." Peter narrowed his eyes with disdain. "Why are you yelling anyway? You were there, too!"

"And I cleaned up right away!" Jeremy shouted, exasperated.

"Chill out. I'll take care of it right now." Peter turned and mumbled. "You're worse than Danny."

Jeremy snapped. "THAT'S IT! Betsy! Get everyone in the conference room. Five minutes."

Jeremy slammed his door and stalked over to his desk. He placed his hands on the cool surface, spreading his fingers wide. He concentrated on how his fingers felt as they stretched, then pushed down harder, and focused on the burn in his shoulders. Slowly he let the tension roll down his arms, imagined it flowing out of his fingertips and into the glass, away from him. It was not nearly as effective as he'd hoped though, and wearily he pulled his hands away again. He grabbed his coat and slipped it on as he ripped the door open again to make a beeline for the conference room.

As he strode through the door he couldn't shake the uncomfortable sensation of being a schoolteacher, scolding naughty children. "All right, I've asked you here today to talk about how we have started to treat this office like some sort of frat house."

"Hey!" Peter objected.

"Wait," Jeremy held his hand up for silence. "It's not just Peter. Morgan keeps a menagerie, Danny plays his little piano late at night..."

"I don't do that anymore," Danny's voice was quiet but his ears turned pink as he lowered his head. Mindy's hand settled gently upon Danny's, causing him to look up and smile softly at her.

Jeremy closed his eyes for a second before continuing. "Our once-a-month after hours social events have gradually become an almost nightly occurrence, and it is not reasonable to ask the cleaner to tidy up messes like that every night. We're adults, we should be able to keep this place neat."

"I said I'd clean it up, Jeremy," Peter whined. "You used to be fun. You've become a real drag lately."

"It's becoming increasingly clear to me that I have been too lenient. No more social nights. No more shaving legs in the toilets, no more SLEEPING here." He looked pointedly at Beverly who was, much to his dismay, sleeping right now. He began again, louder. "Keep your offices and workspaces clean enough to see PATIENTS, stop taking office supplies home and for the love of God please clear your things out of the refrigerator once a week."

"I agree with that," Mindy piped up. "I needed room for my chicken zuppa today and I had to throw out someone's weird hummus from NOVEMBER."

Several expressions passed over Morgan's big, honest face as though he were remembering something and then struggling to decide whether to say it out loud. "Uhh, Mindy. That was your hummus. Do you remember back when you were dating the skater, you bought like $40 worth of hummus but didn't eat it?"

Mindy at least looked faintly sheepish before responding. "Oh yeah! Well, it was gross, and I don't know what I was thinking."

Jeremy watched as Danny turned his hand palm up and laced his fingers with Mindy's. Before he could stop himself, one last commandment burst out of him. "And no more liaisons in the hot pipe room!"

"That's not fair!" Beverly was clearly awake now. Everyone turned to stare as she glared aggressively back at them. "I'm not saying I do that. I'm just saying it's not fair. What's the point of an unused room if you can't take some personal time in it?"

As they turned away one by one Jeremy met their eyes, taking in their array of emotions; a little guilt, a little confusion and a lot of expressions haunted by things they couldn't unhear. He cleared his throat. "Can we all agree this is a good idea? Stay out of the hot pipe room."

Everyone nodded silently and looked around at each other for affirmation."This is a professional office, and we're going to act like professionals. Now everyone get out there and start as you mean to go on." Jeremy turned for the door.

"What?" Several different voices chimed behind him as he strode across the reception towards his office.

"Work!" He shouted firmly before he shut his door.

No sooner than his bum hit his seat, Danny barged in right without knocking. "What was that about?"

Jeremy looked up, surprised. "It was about how unprofessional things have gotten around here. I can't believe I have to tell grown men and women to clean up after themselves. It's ridiculous and it makes me feel ridiculous."

"Okay, that I agree about, but don't take away Wings and Stings."

"Danny, be serious. You barely tolerated it before and now you've a beautiful woman to go home to. You'll never even miss it."

Danny shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know...six months ago, that would have been true. I'm just... I'm trying. For Mindy. I'm trying to spend actual time with actual people and not be so closed off."

"Really?" Jeremy tried to keep the incredulity out of his voice, but it crept in anyway. It stood to reason that Mindy would be a good influence on Danny, but Jeremy had always pictured it as a the slow change wrought by time and a relentlessly sunny disposition. He hadn't really seen Danny as fundamentally amenable to the change, and definitely not the type to purposefully change for a woman. "Well, good for you, mate. You're a lucky man."

Danny's face lit up, his smile bashful, honest. "Don't I know it."

The happiness was written all over Danny. In his eyes, the way he held himself taller, the way his lips twitched into a smile when he said her name. Jeremy was truly happy for him, his little friend who'd always seemed like a tightly bound ball of intense emotions he'd never let go of. This happier, looser Danny inspired a strange kind of jealousy in Jeremy, tied not to the source of Danny's happiness, but of the happiness itself. That night Mindy came to his aid had been the first time Jeremy had really felt connected to someone in a long time, and the idea that one could feel that all the time was unimaginable. Jeremy pushed the thought away and sighed. "Fine. We'll keep Wings and Stings."

"Thank you. Now what are we gonna do about the hot pipe room? Is it just permanent storage and maybe we change the lock? Or should we turn it into something useful? I mean if people think we need a quiet room..."

"Danny, if we refurbish it as a break room we're only going to end up seeing more of Morgan's tattoo. People have homes, they can rest at home. Otherwise our current break room will suffice."

"I was thinking more about turning it into another office for the nurses. Morgan and Tamra bicker too much over that stupid desk."

"The L shaped desk?" Jeremy nodded thoughtfully. "You might be on to something there. Shall we call in Mindy and Peter, take a vote?"

"Sure." Danny reached for the door handle and Mindy stumbled right into him as he pulled it open, caught leaning on the door trying to listen in. Danny's surprise turned into a smile as he took the opportunity to hold her a moment longer before letting her go.

Jeremy looked away, uncomfortable with his proximity to their intimate moment. He coughed quietly to draw their attention. "Danny had a comment about the hot pipe room."

Mindy pulled away from Danny quickly with a hint of panic in her eyes. "We hardly did anything! Tamra and Morgan have done way worse in this office. You and I have done way worse in this office!" She pointed at Jeremy accusingly.

"Hey!" Danny barked in surprise.

"I'm sorry, Danny, but we did. And I'm not going down just because you and I did a little mmmph," she mumbled as Danny physically put his hand over her mouth.

"Stop talking. It's not that. I think we should convert it into a nurse's office." Danny lifted his hand carefully from her lips.

"Ohhh!" Mindy sagged with relief.

"What'd I miss?" Peter burst in the room.

Jeremy sighed. "You missed nothing. Danny and I were discussing the hot pipe room..."

Jeremy was cut off once again as Peter opened a bag of tortilla chips and shot Jeremy a withering glare. "Slow your roll, Downton Abbey. They didn't do anything in there that you and Mindy hadn't done before."

"Peter!" Mindy squeaked as her eyes darted to Danny for his reaction.

"What?" Peter casually popped a chip in his mouth as the rest of the doctors stared at him in horror.

Jeremy's curiosity won over his irritation. "Why are you eating tortillas in my office?"

"We didn't have popcorn." As he looked at the blank stares Peter shrugged and went on. "When I saw Danny follow you in I thought there might be drama. We all know you and Mindy used to get it on, I was kinda hoping for a fight."

"Peter, you're not helping." Mindy's cheeks were flushed and she stared fixedly at the carpet in front of her.

"How does Peter know what we've done?" Danny's brow furrowed. "Mindy?"

Jeremy saw her shoulders heave with a miserable sigh and decided to put a stop to this. "Enough of this fribbledy frou. I literally just told you all that you're to stop bringing your personal lives into the office. The issue at hand is whether we turn the hot pipe room into a proper nurses office to stop Morgan and Tamra arguing over the big desk. It's exhausting to listen to and it's disruptive for the patients. All in favor?"

All four doctors raised their hands, and Mindy shot him a grateful look. "Motion carried. Now get out of my office."

Mindy fingers brushed lightly at Danny's sleeve and Jeremy could just hear her whisper to Danny as he left. "Go wait in my office. I'll explain everything."

Danny pushed Peter out of the office in front of him and pulled the door behind him. Mindy turned towards Jeremy, her face apologetic. "I'm sorry, Jeremy, I shouldn't have said anything. I don't know why Peter brought it up."

"It's fine, Mindy. No point in pretending we don't have a past. I do have to ask why you'd tell Peter though."

She slouched into one of the chairs opposite him. "Back when Danny broke up with me I ended up spending a lot of time with Peter. He was the only one who knew about my broken heart and he listened."

"Okay. But why tell him about us?"

"It's not like it was a secret. I talked about a lot of things then. Including how hypocritical it was of you to tell me off for an office romance. And how I thought you were the reason Danny broke up with me."

Jeremy's heart sank. "Do you really think that? That Danny broke up with you because of our little 'intervention' at your party?"

"No, I think Danny was just afraid of how serious we were getting and did something stupid because he was scared. Although, to be clear, I don't think your intervention helped." Mindy frowned, eyes fluttering at a memory of something too painful, too recent to discuss.

Jeremy felt sick. He'd let her down again. "I'm so sorry, Mindy. If you'd just told me what was happening I wouldn't have said any of those things, especially not in public. I'd hate to think anything I did caused you pain."

"How could I tell you? Danny didn't want us to go public, and you probably still would have told me I was being stupid."

"If anything I would have told you Danny was being stupid. He shouldn't have tried to keep you two a secret. If you were mine I'd want everyone to know." He hadn't meant to say that last bit, and looked down at his desk hoping she'd shrug it off.

Mindy's hand's absently played with the buttons on her cardigan, making her look somehow vulnerable, a look she wore rarely. "Um, Jeremy, I was yours. You didn't put a ring on it, either."

And there it was, the reminder of how stupidly he'd behaved, how careless he'd been and how he'd hurt her. "You're right. I've absolutely no right to comment on how Danny handled your relationship."

She looked directly in his eyes, searching perhaps for the real apology he owed her. For not understanding her value when he had the chance. For not protecting her from pain. For being just as stupid as Danny, but not brave enough to try again.

Jeremy looked down at his desk, unable to face her. "For what it's worth, I think he's really ready now. He still makes mistakes, but his heart's in the right place."

"I know." A soft smile betrayed her contentment. She'd heard it only as a comment on Danny's behavior.

Simultaneously relieved and disappointed, Jeremy resorted to humor to alleviate his own embarrassment at having said such a nakedly self serving thing to this woman who was so clearly in love with his friend. "Not to mention if you can forgive him for standing you up on the Emperor's State Building TWICE I think you can survive anything."

"What?"

"I just mean that was a particularly daft thing to do, especially a second time."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "He was there the second time."

Jeremy chuckled. "Yeah, but he made it by the skin of his teeth. You're a very understanding woman."

"What do you mean?"

Something dawned on Jeremy. Surely Danny wouldn't have been stupid enough to keep that detail from her. They were starting over. Honestly is the best policy and all. "He was almost late is all," Jeremy finished lamely.

"He had been waiting for me for hours by the time I got there. He wasn't late. I was late."

"I'm sure you're right." Jeremy nervously glanced at the clock. "Mindy, we both have patients all morning. Let's just get on with it. I'll chat with you later."

"Jeremy, if you lie to me I swear to Jesus I will cut out your heart."

"Mindy, you're Hindu."

"That's not the point. Now what did you mean Danny was almost late?"

"Mindy, just ask Danny what happened. I really thought he'd told you the whole story by now. I don't want to be in the middle..."

"Jeremy," she warned.

"Fine. Danny left after you didn't show. We met him by chance and told him you'd gone and he ran across the city to find you. It was a perfect romantic comedy moment. The end."

"He LEFT?" She stood and rushed for the door.

"Mindy," Jeremy began.

Ripping the door open, Mindy cut him off with growl before shouting across the office. "DANNY!"

Jeremy covered his eyes. "Oh, hell."

* * *

Notes:

Thanks to those of you opening your hearts to Jeremy. Got to bring a bit of everyone in this time though.


	4. High and Dry

Jeremy found Danny in a booth by himself at a bar that seemed rather hipper than something Danny himself would have chosen. He didn't appear to be drunk, just dejected, but there was only one way to find out.

"I received your text message. Were those emojis?" Jeremy assumed a man who could send tiny pictures of beers couldn't be too mad at him and slid into the opposite seat.

"Yeah, I got kinda used to them with Mindy. She thinks it's so funny when I do them, so I send a bunch. Sorry."

"No it's okay, just a little out of character. What are we drinking?" Jeremy gestured to Danny's almost empty glass.

Danny blinked tiredly. "Whatever's on tap."

"Lager? I suppose your conversation with Mindy couldn't have gone too badly if you're not already hitting the hard stuff." Jeremy signaled to a waitress and put in an order for two more.

"I wouldn't say that." Danny tipped the dregs of his drink into his mouth and then pushed the glass away.

Jeremy tried to redirect, pull Danny out of it. "How on earth did you find this bar? It doesn't seem like your kind of...scene."

"I didn't. Mindy likes it because they always have those vodka gummi bears. I called her before I called you, but she rejected my call. Eight times."

The waitress dropped beer mats onto the table and placed a glass in front of each man with a little wink at Jeremy. He smiled back briefly, but returned to the issue at hand. The mess he'd made. "I'm so sorry, mate."

"I was going to tell her. I really was."

Jeremy took a sip of his beer. "Why didn't you? Didn't you learn from the Andy thing?"

Danny rubbed his eyes and looked up. They were rimmed with red, and simultaneously focused and unfocused. "Do you know what it's like to finally get the one thing you've wanted for so long that you don't remember what it's like not to want it? Do you know what a relief it is?"

"I can't say that I do. I don't suppose I've ever...wanted like that." It wasn't strictly true, but it wouldn't help to prod at that hornet's nest at the moment.

"Good."

"Good that I don't know what it's like to get what I want?"

"Good that you've never had to live without it." Alarmingly, Danny drained half his beer in one big gulp.

"Okay..."

"It warps you. You spend so long with that big hole in you that you try to fill the hole with the wrong things. And you're always contorting yourself, trying to protect that soft spot. Trying to make sure no one can see how much of a mess you are."

"That's...surprisingly eloquent."

Danny shot him a dirty look. "Hey, I'm eloquent."

"Of course you are. Go on."

"Anyway, my point is that I wanted her for so long that once I had her I forgot that I had to open up a little to let her in."

"I feel like this is my fault." Jeremy hoped he looked suitably contrite. Danny was a fool for keeping the truth from Mindy, but he didn't deserve to be blindsided with it because of a little slip of the tongue.

Danny shook his head. "It's not your fault, it's my fault."

"To be honest I really thought you might have called me down here to have it out with me for spilling the beans."

"Nah, man. She told me that she made you tell. She can be pretty persuasive."

"Yes, she can." Jeremy took a long draw from his beer.

"And I should have told her that night."

"Yes, you should have." Nodding thoughtfully, Jeremy addressed the next curiosity in this thus far surreal situation. "So why did you call me?"

"I don't have a lot of friends. I mean I'm trying, but I've been told I can be kind of a dick."

"That's certainly true."

"Hey!"

"You said it first."

"Well, I am kind of a dick. But we've known each other a while now. I figured you'd let me drink without yelling at me for hours about messing things up with Mindy. And you know what it's like to lose her." Danny's voice broke.

"Danny, you're not losing her. You screwed up. A couple of times. But she loves you. She's not going to leave you." Again, the feeling that he was giving something up gnawed at Jeremy's gut. He shouldn't have any real feelings tied up in this, but the words rang hollow when he knew he should mean them, but also hoped they weren't true.

"I don't know what I'd do without her."

The drink was clearly stronger than he'd estimated because the gentle buzz had begun to cloud his thought processes. He thought about what Mindy really brought to the practice, what she brought as a friend, and what she'd once brought as a lover. Losing her would be an inestimable loss. "I don't know what any of us would do without her. She's a special kind of woman. A once-in-a-lifetime kind of woman."

Danny looked up, curiosity softening his face. "How'd you ever let her go?"

"Why do you want to talk about this? You've never wanted to talk about my...past with Mindy before." He really needed to get someone else in here. He shouldn't be here for this. It wasn't good for him, and it wasn't good for Danny. And most importantly it wasn't good for Mindy.

"I just want to understand. You're everything I'm not, and you couldn't keep her."

"Don't be stupid."

"It's true. You're tall, the patients like you more. You've got that British thing that women love." Danny drew his finger down the glass, collecting condensation and using it to draw little bubbles on the tabletop. Jeremy had been wrong about how drunk Danny was. Quite drunk. Danny was quite drunk, headed for rough waters if someone didn't cut him off soon.

"I thought we talked about this and you told me you aren't jealous of me."

"I lied. I was jealous when I said that. I'm still jealous. You and Mindy didn't fight like this, did you?"

"We didn't. Because she didn't feel that kind of passion for me that she does for you."

"You think?"

"I know. And if you want my advice..."

"I don't."

"You asked me earlier if I knew what it was like to get the things I've wanted for so long. Well, she's not a thing to have, she's your partner. Stop hiding from her. Some truths are ugly, but she's with you despite all those things you've listed as your defects. Treat her like your partner."

"How do I do that?"

"No more plots. No more keeping things to yourself, even if you think it's going to save her pain. If she wants to be by your side, let her be by your side."

"That is...really good advice. Shit."

"Of course it is. Now send her a text and tell her that you are sorry you didn't talk to her. She's not angry about being stood up, she's angry about being cut out."

It took Danny several minutes to send what should have been a very short message, but once he hit send he dropped the phone and put his face in his hands as he waited for a reply. Jeremy could see that he was praying. The phone buzzed. Danny picked it up and read with a stony face. "She told me to go to hell."

"See? And only an hour ago she wouldn't even respond. There's hope."

Danny's phone buzzed again. "She's on her way."

"Well I shall take my leave of you then." Jeremy picked up his coat and drained the rest of his pint.

* * *

**Authors Note: Music specifically chosen because I feel like if you're going to feel sorry for yourself in an anonymous bar, it's basically the perfect fit.**

**I am trying to wrap this before the hiatus ends, thanks to everyone who's hangin' in there.**


	5. Black

He hadn't meant for this to happen. Jeremy hadn't been drunk when he left the bar, but then again he didn't remember getting home. He must have made the walk and the train changes by muscle memory alone. He chucked his house keys onto the kitchen counter and started toward the bedroom to change into a more comfortable sweater and shoes suitable for the house, but it brought up memories he didn't want to examine at the moment. Instead he sat down heavily on the sofa and loosened his tie, then threw it over the back of the sofa. He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it at the armchair, staring blankly as it fell to the floor instead. Kicking his shoes under the coffee table he padded back over to the refrigerator. Standing there with the door open, his mind wandered again.

Mindy had laughed at his ritual; the memory of it caused a little pang of sadness to ripple through him. She'd called him Mr Rogers, whatever that means. It wasn't the fact that she's found him ridiculous that hurt, it was the memory of the laugh. She affected this high giggle most of the time, but when something really tickled her the laugh turned into something throaty and genuine. He probably hadn't heard a real laugh like that in his own home in months. Most nights were spent alone lately, and when he had guests, they weren't there to change clothes and watch TV. How had he forgotten how many times he and Mindy had done little things like that? He'd somehow scrubbed away those memories of shared happiness and genuine affection. Upon reflection it was clear how she'd gotten attached back then. And a little hazy how he hadn't.

A little chill shook him from his reverie and he realized how long he'd been standing there with the refrigerator door open. He knew he shouldn't drink on an empty stomach, so he grabbed some cheese and chutney, plunking it onto the counter before reaching for the under-counter wine rack. Pouring himself a generous glass of Syrah, he sat right at the kitchen island as the room grew darker. By the time full dark had fallen, the next bottle of wine was opened and half empty, the food untouched. He wanted to eat, but for some reason the one thing that he'd always been able to turn to for comfort held no appeal.

Half-drunk and full of remorse Jeremy found himself willing to examine that part of himself, the part he'd been denying.

It was true that he had started turning to food again when Mindy left for Haiti, but maybe it hadn't all been about the changes at the practice, the increased responsibility, the increased stress. It had been neat and tidy to pin it on work, but honestly it had begun before she left, around the time she started seeing Casey, and he'd started seeing Maggie.

Had it been like this when she left with Casey? Was that why he'd let it happen, let himself fall into the only thing that felt good? Had that been when he'd stopped serial dating ballerinas and tried to settle down with the assertive, dry, funny Maggie, who'd reminded Jeremy so much of Mindy despite their glaring differences? Had he just stopped acting like himself because Mindy wasn't there?

He poured another glass.

. . .

A third bottle stood unopened before him, and when the banging began his head was so fuzzy he wasn't immediately sure that it was his door. Until he heard her voice.

"Jeremy, open up."

He lowered himself carefully from the stool, not entirely trusting his own feet. The banging began again. Weaving his way toward the door and swung it open to find Mindy with red eyes, and the look that of a woman who'd been crying, then re-applied her eye makeup to cover the fact.

"Mindy, what are you doing here?"

She smiled wanly. "I told you it would be your turn to rescue me some day. So here I am."

Jeremy opened the door wider, scanning her for clues as to what was wrong. "What's the matter? Is everything alright?"

"Nothing's alright," she hiccuped as she pushed past him and marched toward the kitchen. She stopped suddenly as she noticed the shirt on the floor and the fact that Jeremy was just wearing an under shirt and trousers. Her eyes flicked to the bedroom door. "Oh God, Jeremy, I'm sorry. Do you have company? Do I need to go?"

"What?" He followed her gaze to the clothes scattered in the floor. "No, I don't have a guest."

"Good." She grabbed the corkscrew and the bottle already on the counter and carried it over to the sofa, where she deposited herself with the minimum of ceremony. She struggled with it for a minute before Jeremy crossed the room and gently plucked them from her hands and opened the bottle for her.

"I've always wanted one of these electric bottle openers, but you know me, I just buy the screw-top wine," she called over the back of the sofa as he made his way to the kitchen.

"How delightfully American of you," he smiled as he focused carefully on pouring her a glass. He was definitely drunk.

"Trashy new money, that's me."

"Hey, I did not say that." Jeremy poured himself a glass as well and sat next to her, handing her a glass with a frown.

Mindy drew herself up haughtily. "I'll have you know there are Californian wines every bit as good as the fancy French stuff."

Jeremy smiled, this kind of banter felt like familiar ground, like something he could hold on to while he tried to shake off his inebriation. "I know that. Although they don't usually have a screw top."

"Hey!" She pushed him with one hand as she brought the glass to her lips with her other. Jeremy tumbled backwards a bit into an undignified heap, half-sitting, half-laying next to her.

"You drunk there, buddy?" Mindy chuckled, that real laugh he'd missed so much. Jeremy's throat burned.

"I might have had a bit of wine before you got here." He pushed himself back up and looked at her carefully. "Can we please slow down and talk about why you're here?"

She made a pained face as she changed the subject again. "If you don't have a guest why aren't you wearing your Mr Rogers get up?"

Jeremy was suddenly aware of the fact that he wasn't properly dressed and regardless of how many times she'd seen him this way before, he felt suddenly exposed. "I, um, I don't really have an answer for that. I just got distracted."

She smirked. "By two bottles of wine?"

"I suppose." Jeremy couldn't meet her eyes.

"Okaaay." She drew the word out and he could feel her staring at him, which made it even harder to find his bearings.

Mindy drained her glass and got up to pour another. She looked a bit unsteady on her feet and Jeremy had the distinct impression that she may have had a bit to drink before she arrived. He bit the bullet and asked. "Did you find Danny?"

"I found him."

He tried again to draw out the real reason she was here. "And did he explain what happened? At the Empire State building?"

"Hey! You finally said it right!"

"Mindy..." he began reproachfully.

She sighed. "He explained, I guess. He said that he 'forgot to let me in' which is a complete cop-out."

"I don't know, Mindy. It sounds pretty accurate. He's always been guarded, and you have always known that."

Mindy tipped the rest of her wine down her throat and put the glass down. "Jeremy, it's like loving Mark Darcy."

He rolled his eyes. "I thought we talked about using fictitious characters as a basis for real life relationships."

"It is though. He keeps secrets that he knows could hurt us. He keeps secrets he doesn't even want to keep. Stoicism is a lot sexier in principle than practice."

"I hardly think Danny's trying to be stoic. He obviously feels the pain, and for some reason thinks he can spare you the pain."

"He doesn't get to decide that for me," she retorted, a flush creeping up her face.

"It's not intentional, Mindy. Sometimes when you've experienced rejection after rejection you stop putting the real you out there to get hurt again. What good could possibly come from knowing what kind of pain someone carries every day?"

"I could help him carry it."

"You can't though, Mindy. You just can't." Jeremy shook his head. "We each have to bear our own. You don't have to know why someone hurts, you just have to be there when they hurt, and stay even when it gets hard."

He felt her hand slip into his, squeezing his fingers. "We're not talking about Danny anymore, are we?"

"We were never talking about Danny."

"I'm sorry, I haven't been a very good friend lately."

"You've been perfect." Despite his best efforts he felt his head raise and his eyes connected with hers. "You've been here for me, even though I know you've your own battles to fight. I'm not myself right now, though. I don't know how capable I am of being what you need me to be. I am sorry for that. You've probably chosen the wrong man to run to tonight."

Mindy smiled softly at him. "No, you're perfect. It was so easy to be with you. That's probably why I tried to make it more than it really was. I needed you in my life, but I didn't know that we could be friends like this. I'm glad that it wasn't ever real."

Jeremy's chest was so tight now he could barely breathe. "Do you really think that? That it didn't mean anything?"

"Jeremy, we both know you're not that guy."

The lump in Jeremy's throat coalesced with the tightness in his chest, a hard knot pulling at every part of him from the inside like a black hole opening up in the center of his body. His hands felt cold and he withdrew his hand from hers.

"What guy is that, Mindy? The guy who falls in love with you, or the guy who you could love back?"

"What? I'm sorry I said it wasn't real, I just meant that you were right when you broke things off. I didn't mean you don't have feelings. Obviously you have feelings. I mean, I felt something too, I'm just glad it didn't go anywhere."

Jeremy closed his eyes against the prickling hot tears that threatened to expose everything. He'd only hurt her. "Because we're such good friends."

"I know what that sounds like, but it's different with you."

"Yes, thank you. I understand perfectly." He stood up unsteadily and reached reflexively to smooth his tie before realizing he wasn't wearing one. "I think you should go. Go back to Danny, or go home. I can't be the sounding board for your Danny problems right now. I don't have the heart for it."

"Jeremy?" The bemusement slowly faded from her face followed by a dawning comprehension, and finally pain erasing the remaining traces of confusion. Her mouth opened slowly like she wanted to say something else, but shut again quickly enough as she swallowed hard, the pain finally settled in her eyes too. He wanted so desperately to grab her and hold her until the pain left her eyes, but he knew that he was not what she wanted or needed. He never would be.

"If you could just see yourself out, I'm going to bed." The first tear fell before he could turn away, but all he could do was hope she missed it.

As he closed his bedroom door he thought he heard a quiet sob, but it was drowned soon enough as his own pain washed over him and ushered him into a restless sleep.

* * *

**Notes: I get a lot of thoughtful comments, which I really appreciate. This was never going to speak to many people, but I'll always try to give some space to the characters who don't get the same play Danny and Mindy get. We're in the final stretch, only a little over a week left!**


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